Lost Purpose: Reward if Found

When you’re searching for your purpose, it’s an everyday thing. You don’t get to put it on the back burner as you go to work (which isn’t necessarily the source of purpose – to much peoples’ confusion). Nevertheless, with all that thinking often comes even more bewilderment. Finding your purpose is a personal endeavor which never truly ends, but you can get a lot closer to the secret that lies within you if you practice mindful activities that allow you to interpret your intuition.

 

Give it a try…

 

Meditate

 

Nowadays, our minds are never truly clear. There’s always a screen or speaker sending information that blocks our own processes. People are often hesitant to try meditation, and that’s understandable. It’s new to some people, and different, and can bring about feelings and thoughts that are a little uncomfortable.  However, sometimes you need to be uncomfortable to move forward. There are plenty of resources that can help you delve into the life changing practice of meditation. Try Calm for free.

 

Connect with Nature

 

Back in the day, we spent so much more time outside. Walking through the woods or trips to the beach or lake happened every weekend. That’s not always the case anymore. Even so, connecting with nature has similar benefits to practicing meditation. A walk through the woods can lead to epiphanies, reduce anxiety, and bring you to places you didn’t know existed – both within yourself and the world around you. So, get out there! Find a park and connect with nature.

 

Talk it Out

 

Sure, gabbing with your girls is a step in the right direction – especially if you’re lucky enough to have friends who are emotionally intelligent and have your best interests at heart. But, not everyone has that. That’s okay. There are so many ways to find support. One good way is to get some therapy. It’s not just for “crazy” people. A therapist acts as a non-judgmental source where you can bounce around ideas, and be completely honest. Don’t knock it until you try it.

 

Make Lists

 

You know yourself, right? On the other hand, maybe you just think you do. Make lists, lots of them. What are your likes? Dislikes? What do you want to learn? Are there any hobbies you’ve been meaning to try? Turn those lists into actionable undertakings. You never know what you’ll find out about yourself.

 

As you continue the hunt for your purpose, remember to be kind to yourself. Everyone is on their own path, and those paths are remarkably different. Your purpose may become apparent after many miles along your route, while others only have to walk a few feet. That’s okay. There’s no contest, and there’s no time limit.

 

While you’re being kind to yourself, also remember to push yourself. Step out of your comfort zones, push through weakness, and celebrate your individual accomplishments and feats, as they lead you to your very own purpose.

Chapter 20

Life Lessons…..chapters

 

Never compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 20!!

I see it all the time, the new person comes in and listens to what appears to be a very one sided version of a story. You hear how awful another person is/was and how they were never what they needed. You hear everything they did not do and everything that they were not. And all the while you never realized that the person who is telling the story never shares their faults or issues. They never share their contributions to the failed relationship; they only point the finger at the person who is no longer there, while all the while painting themselves as the victim. You then begin to judge a person with whom, you have never held a conversation; you begin to hate a person whose story you truly do not know.

You see you may know a person’s name and heard parts of their story but you don’t know what they have been through. You do not know what they had to endure or the pain they had to bare. You did not see the tears that they cried or the scars they had to hide.

Be very careful how quickly you judge their stories because it just might become yours………..

So pull up a seat and let me tell you a story

I Owned It

the shirt altI would have been held prisoner to my past if I did not turn around and, look into the mirror, and see my naked self. Well, let me tell you honey, I saw some thangs, that I had to admit about myself, but you see I refuse to walk down this path again so I had to look at the good, the bad, and yes Lawd, the ugly. You see while driving in my car talking with my publicist/manager, I had my “Own It Moment.

I had to own the fact that I married a liar because I was a liar. I had to own that I married a cheater because I had cheated in previous relationships. I had to own that I was married to a man who could not handle money because I could not handle money. I had to own that I married a man with bad credit because hell, I had bad credit. I had to own that I married a man who was broken because I was broken. I had to own that I was lonely and always had to have someone in my life. I had to own that I was always seeking attention and approval from others. I had to own that at times I was not a good friend to those who were great friends to me. I had to own that I was selfish and always wanted things to go my way without looking for ways to compromise. I had to own my insecurities. I had to own that I at times was envious of my friends. I had to own some things, and listen it is not easy to admit that, but I understand now in order to be free to walk into my destiny I had to own my past.

Once I owned that thang honey, I was free from it. Now listen! If you want better for yourself, let me give you a TanyaismYou better own that thang, honey, embrace it boo, honor it and let it go!

Derek’s Voice

derek slideApril 2, 2010 was the day that I was blessed with the greatest gift, my third child first son Derek. When he was born he was perfect. Ten fingers ten toes and as cute as he wanted to be. My pregnancy was uneventful and even his birth. He developed normally and had reached all his milestones. He was crawling and walking on time. Derek was babbling and cooing like all babies and his smile was amazing. I had no concerns or worries. I was falling back into the rhythm of mothering a baby and still mothering two teenage daughters.

Then one day something was different, Derek was not making eye contact anymore and I thought this a different then I started to notice he was not hitting anymore milestone. There were no words just a lot of screaming when he would get frustrated. Remembering how the girls were at his age I kept thinking something is different with him something was “off”. By the age of 18 months there was only one word and that was NO and nothing else so I decided to take him to his pediatrician for an evaluation. She recommended speech therapy and I immediately had him accessed for his speech delay. There he received his first diagnosis “Severe Speech Delay”. We worked through behavioral issues as well as occupational issues to get him to comply with his ever so patient speech therapist. But for me that was not enough he needed more and I needed more. So after talking to a very dear friend of mine she told me about a program called Babies Can’t Wait and after their evaluation they also stated the same thing “Severe Speech Delay” with occupational therapy. And they also worked with Derek and I started to see small improvements but something was still a little off. At the age of three Derek graduated out of the program but was recommended to start school services early to help assist with his speech delay so after several evaluations through the school district they stated they he needed to start school services immediately five days a week full time and receive speech services through the school for a hour a week. That following Monday in April 2013 at the age of 3 Derek’s world changed, he started school and within three weeks the words that were locked away started to pour out. My baby was speaking. He called me mommy he said I love you and I cried. (I am crying now as I relive these moments). The small things that most parents take for granted I treasured every single moment.

He was making great improvements with his speech but something was still not quite right. I kept asking teachers and therapist but no one could or would tell me what they thought. There was still no real strong eye contact, things like going to the barber shop became very challenging for not only Derek but for the barber as well. He would scream from the time he got into the chair. It became so bad that I would cut his hair at home and deal with the screaming there. May 2014 Derek’s Godmother, Tawanna, a special needs teacher for over 10 years came to visit from Texas and as Derek got into the car she interacted with him for a few minutes and said what my gut new “Tanya, Derek has Asperger’s”. Where most people would have thought that this is the worse news they heard I was relived because I wanted to know what to do to help my son. I was never concerned about labels just wanted to give my son the best. Tawanna became my go to person on things to do to work with Derek and it help tremendously.

I also called my former boss Tracy Fogle in Killeen, TX who was opening a school for autistic children and

looked to her for helpful techniques on what I could do to continue to help Derek until I had an official diagnosis.

He went to his first of many evaluations at the local Autism Center where the initial diagnosis is high functioning autism with possible ADHD but we have several appointments before we have an “official diagnosis”

Each day becomes a success; he is excelling in school today Derek takes his social and behavioral skills in his autistic classroom and his 1st grade math, reading, social studies and science in regular main stream classroom. Derek is now reading at almost a third grade level and also being evaluated for being gifted. The behaviors at home are becoming more controlled and today Derek is one of the most loving, compassionate, tendered heart, affectionate and talkative 6 years I know. He still has his quirks but that is what makes him perfect. God knew exactly what he was doing when he created the perfect son for me.

My goal is not only to be an advocate and voice for him for but for every child with Autism.

Along with red BLUE is one of my favorite colors